My Angels of February 19th

I went to bed five hours ago, but I haven't had one ounce of sleep since then.  I don't know why, my mind just won't relax and my eyes won't stay shut.
So I decided I'll stay awake and plow through the day so I can hopefully be exhausted enough to sleep by tonight.

Yesterday was February 19th, which is kind of a meaningful date in my books.  It is a day that reminds me of three angels I have in my life.

1. Melissa ♥ 

This picture is from TEN years ago!? We're getting old, haha.

February 19th is my best friend's birthday.  This awesome gal has been in my life since I was 11, and since then we have had many adventures together.  Being around her is healing, and she has been there for me through some big events in my life.  I don't know if this is starting to sound slightly romantic or what, so I should probably just wrap this up now.
Anyway, I love Melissa and I feel grateful to have such a wonderful friend.  She is a great example to me, and I am so happy that she was born!

2. Grandad ♥ 

I found this picture on my Auntie's Facebook.  I think it's perfect ♥ 

It was February 19th when my Grandad passed away.  That was the first time I had one of my loved ones die.
It took me a long time to be able to talk about him without immediately bawling. And I really haven't looked at his pictures too much since he passed away, maybe for that reason.  Because I know I'll start crying if I think about how much I miss him.
But why have I been so afraid to cry about it?  It's okay to miss him.
On this restless night I realized how long it has actually been since I've really let myself just cry because I miss my Grandad.  It has probably been five years, so that's what I'm doing now.
He was a steadfast man, always full of wisdom and love.  I hope to become as gospel-centered as he was.
Until I get to see him again, I can feel comforted knowing that he is one of the many angels that watch over me.

3. Lawless ♥ 

Last year on February 19th, my dog came into my life.  I knew he was one of the cutest little puppies I ever did see and that I wanted him in my life, but little did I know that he would be helping me through one of the roughest times I was yet to experience.
To make a long story short, my then-husband left me at the end of February, on a night that he knew my family was out of town, and I was left with my broken heart and my tiny "healer" puppy.
Having your spouse decide to stop loving you is a pretty painful thing to process.  There were times that I felt like it wouldn't matter to anyone if I just disappeared, but I'd remember that this tiny little puppy needed somebody to take care of him.  I felt a little needed, which was enough to keep me around for a little longer until I could get out of that dark place.
And he took care of me too.  Lawless would sleep next to me in my bed as I lay awake, snuggling up to me when I felt like nobody would possibly want to be near my miserable self.  He'd whimper with me as I broke down and cried everyday, and come sit in my lap for more snuggles.  He kept me company when I felt so alone, and loved me even though I didn't feel like I deserved anybody's love anymore.

Sometimes I get frustrated when he barks his head off or when he immediately shreds up every nice thing that I get for him, but I guess I was asking for it when I named him Lawless.  He is actually such a sweet dog that helped me get through something I didn't know I could get through, and for that I will always love him.


I am happy knowing that I have been blessed with so many angels in my life, both on this side of the veil and the other.


This post also made me wish that I had more pictures with my loved ones.  I need to be better about capturing those moments!